Sunday, March 30, 2008

Re-inventing the gnome


In honour of the recent death of Gary Gygax, TSR Games has put out the latest - and most thrilling - edition of AD&D.
It features two new alignments: Sane and Insane. Plus, there is a range of enticing new classes such as Douchebag, Dicktard and Fuckface. One is given the option of multiclassing in this edition, allowing for the possibilities of Douchetard, Fuckbag and Dickface.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Don't miss out on this one!


FOR LEASE

* one city, slightly used. Comes with mixed population, missing a few pieces in the east end. Instruction manual not included. This is a real bargain! Excellent reviews in international news, unlimited potential. Could also be a "handyman special" if you wanted to clean up the dirty parts.
Original owners sold it off to us 150 years ago and now we're considering relocation, further expansion. Email for more pix or come take a look, open house in 2010.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Life in East Van

The upstairs apartment has been converted into 2 single rooms, sharing a bathroom and kitchen.
The landlord thought that this would be the best way to make more money: renting to what he thought would be students from VCC. Unfortunately, very few people want to share a bathroom and kitchen with someone who isn't a roommate, unless they are quite poor and desperate. Thus, our new neighbours.
One is a 50-yr old woman who has confessed to having post-traumatic stress disorder. This causes her to pound on the floor and walls at all hours of the day, yelling "Oh no, Oh no, help me help me, not again, not again!" The first time I heard this, I figured she was being raped and/or attacked so I pounded on her door. She informed me that, in fact, she was simply reliving being raped and/or attacked and that this happens to her often. I was urged to simply ignore the outbursts.
The other woman is in her teens, probably a runaway, who has already decided to move out because she can't handle living across the hall from a screaming woman. The landlord has already interviewed a new tenant: a sketchy looking dude in his 40s who didn't look like he bathed much. I called the landlord afterwards and suggested that this man may rape and/or attack the woman and that it maybe best to rent to women only. He agreed.
What to do? Our rent is good and we are so close to everything. But the occasional gunshot in the park, the upstairs neighbours and the bizarre landlord has made us re-consider living here. Oh well.