Dadzone and the Endymion

I don't imagine it's any easier for women than men, but I am finding identity definition as a father is taking way longer than expected. I mean, I haven't really changed at all but I feel like I relate to others differently and I sure spend my time in new ways. I hardly do much at all that I used to do. But what was that, anyway? I guess I used to drink a lot of beer and eat a lot of shawarmas and go to shows and stay up late watching movies. How is that different, then, besides the concert part?
I feel extra-sensitive that friends are judging me for being lame and staying home with my family instead of going to karaoke parties. They're not, but I get worried regardless. It's not easy to explain that I can watch my daughter laugh for hours on end and that I need very little other than a good book to occupy myself these days. Fatherhood has slowed me down, I'm a nester now. I still love Rob Schneider and Kyuss and polyester.

The Corner Grocery Store

Last night's dream:
Raffi was in town for some reason or other and I was assigned the job of being his chaperone and tour guide. So the first thing I did was take him to the Princess Rooms. On our way, we passed 668 Powell and he told me that he used to live there. When I looked surprised, he explained that he wasn't "crazy" and that he lived on the NHS side when it first opened.
I was rehearsing how I would introduce him to my colleagues and I said out loud, "so this is Raffi, and he's Turkish." Raffi got really upset and reminded me that he was Armenian. I felt pretty bad after that.
Then we showed up at a Triage party and I showed Raffi around. Alanna was there and she was really trashed. I thought she and everyone else would already know Raffi but he told me that he was only popular in Ontario, which I found disappointing. Alanna was really rude to him and kept making fun of his beard. I thought Raffi would get offended and want to leave but instead he proceeded to get really drunk with Alanna and do embarrassing things like run around with his shirt off and tied around his head.